Women talk! Yes, we do even if we are the more quiet type we at least talk to ourselves. We were born that way. Studies have been done on newborn girls and new born boys and the girls make lots of mouth noises as they look around at this new world. Boys, however, silently look around in bewilderment trying to figure out what just happened.
Women go about all day collecting stuff in their “inner basket” and at some time in the day they have to sort it all out. So they figuratively sit on the living room floor and dump their basket. Then using words they sort out what goes in the trash, what gets put away because it’s resolved and what is left to deal with. They have to talk about it to sort it. Girlfriends understand this so when they see us looking like we are bothered by something they ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” and we usually do and then we feel all better.
Men, on the other hand are born believing they are IMMORTAL, INVINCIBLE and ALL WISE. That’s why America’s Funniest Home Videos often shows guys doing stupid things. See, they were just sure that they could. Well, because of that mind set a man goes into his “cave” ALONE to figure out his problems. He places a dragon at the entrance of the cave and if we lovingly suggest that he should talk to us about it so he can feel better (as we would) we actually offend his manhood and will get “burned by the Dragon”. IF a man comes to a point that he can’t figure a problem out he will look for a “professional” in that area to ask about it and we are not usually thought of in that category.
So when your man goes into his cave do this, tell him, “I see that you are in your cave working out an issue. But while you’re in there by your nice cozy fire I am outside in a blizzard, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t stay there too long but come back out and bring some warmth to me.” Then LEAVE HIM ALONE!
This made a world of difference for Lew and me. He didn’t stay in his cave as long and sometimes he even invited me in and shared what he was working on. I did have to be careful to admire his plans and not try to correct or teach him or I got kicked out into the blizzard again or even “burned by the Dragon” and hell could freeze over before I would be invited back in.
Women don’t like this and say it’s not fair but listen girls, it’s written in their DNA so adjust your expectations. They actually will share more if you respect their cave and isn’t that what we want?