Dear Nana,
We have an autistic child. Would you give us some helpful guidance on how to meet his needs?
- Feeling Lost
Dear Feeling Lost,
Working with an autistic child is a very difficult assignment and brings a lot of stress to the whole family. This is quite a complicated topic and too much for a blog to cover fully, but here are some suggestions that I hope may help you and your child to decrease the stress.
1) Watch the 2010 movie, "Temple Grandin" if you haven't already. You will feel a little less alone as you see what she and her mother had to cope with. It may also increase your hope for your child's future as you see the successful woman she became with valuable input.
2) Always remember your child's sensory perception is on high alert so anything to bring that down is helpful. There are Deep Pressure Compression vests made to help these children. The use of Lavender oil from a reputable company (I use Young Living Oils) applied to wrist, neck, forehead and temples and diffused in the rooms he frequents is helpful. Also use Peace and Calming oil in the same way. Play traditional Hymns on Harp music in the house. You can also try Handel's Water Music though this may excite him. These kinds of music can actually reprogram the brain and nervous system over time. There is also an herbal pill sold by Hyland's called Nerve Tonic that melts under the tongue that you might want to try. Walmart usually has it or Amazon. Body pressure as with the vest combined with total silence in a quiet room will help to bring down an episode of acting out. You will see in the movie that Temple Grandin made herself a compression box and used it even when in college.
3) Keep your rules very consistent and do not allow yourself to spoil your child because you may feel sorry for him or even in some way feel guilty, yourself, that he has this difficulty. View this as a very great exercise in building consistent character in yourself and your child and take one day at a time. Don't look too far into the future less discouragement cause you to be hopeless. Be careful to make principles and not emotions the foundation for daily actions and decisions.
4) Don't forget that your other children need personal time and attention from you too. A needy child can suck the oxygen out of a whole family. Take your other children on frequent dates and listen to them and let them know how important they are to you. Also be very careful not to overload his siblings with too much responsibility for him. Yes, they all need to help because they are family and this is a family calling but make sure the others are still allowed to be children and not forced to be adults pre-maturely.
5) YOU MUST TAKE BREAKS YOURSELF! First of all find a support group for parents of autistic children and join in. You need them and they need your experiences to feel less alone and less stressed. You may not be prone to join a group but you will find this is a life saver on some days. It may be hard to find someone capable of caring for your child, but try to find someone even for an hour or two a week. Then get away from your child and pamper yourself. Caregivers often have break downs of health because they don't care for their own needs. And if you break down then who will care for your child at that point? As I said this is not complete but it may get you moving on a pathway to wholeness. Remember your child may well be extremely intelligent. Autistic children often are. God has a mighty purpose for him so cry out to the Lord for daily wisdom. He will give you what you need moment by moment.
A NOTE TO PARENTS OF BABIES AND TODDLERS WHO ARE NOT AUTISTIC:
There are many studies suggesting that the abundance of shots given to babies and toddlers has a strong influence on the development of Autism. This is especially significant as many autistic children showed no signs or symptoms of Autism until the age of three. I cannot tell you what to do but I will tell you what I and my daughter did for my grandchildren and others have successfully followed our example.
1) The medical profession tends to overload tiny bodies with too many toxins at one time and too early for these little bodies to handle well. So we chose to wait on their baby shots until three years of age. Some have waited until just before school age.
2) The next thing we did was insist that only one disease at a time was vaccinated for. No complex shots like MMR combining measles, mumps and rubella and each was given six months apart. This kept their small bodies from being flooded with toxins.
3) We also went to a website called MissDaisy'sHealth.com and purchased a product made by Miracle II called Neutralizer. We bought this both in liquid and gel forms.
4) Before an inoculation the child was give a teaspoon of the liquid in juice and afterwards in the car the gel was applied to the shot site. This was done again before bed and the gel was applied the next day to the shot site if there was any redness or soreness. Neutralizer lessens the bodies reactions to the toxins in the shots.
As I said, my grandchildren and children of other families have fared very well with this procedure. I do warn you that your doctor will push back on this way of doing things so you will have to remain very firm or change your doctor until you find one who will cooperate with you.