The Pain OF An Empty Nest
Updated: Jun 19
Here is a question that I was asked:
How do I adjust to missing my adult children and how do I pray for them, love them, and provide for them now? I can't stop a sort of grieving and can't put my finger on it.
That's a very important question. Sometimes we moms get our worth too tightly connected to being needed by our children. When they grow up and appear not to need us we lose a major part of our worth. Could that be what you are feeling? Our children always need us but now in a very different way. This is the Friendship Season. In my book, “The Four Seasons of Fruitful Parenting”, I explain that friends share burdens, fears, and dreams with each other but do not dominate. Our adult children need us to surround them daily with warrior angels, they need us to perceive decisions they may make that will be harmful and go immediately to the Lord to direct them wisely or even to put a hedge of thorns around them that drives away destructive influences and drives them back to God's way. Sometimes, and only if they ask or give you permission, they need your advice. Having adult children, I think, is the hardest time of parenting because they are out of your protective hands. But this is a wonderful time for us as parents to really grow in that faith in God's love and almighty power we always SAID we had. It's a time for us to find our worth in HIS LOVE for us instead of our children's love or need of us. Remember Psalm 127:3-5 says children are GOD’s reward, not ours. It's also a time to dust off an old dream you once had and go for it if it would please God. Find another worthwhile thing to invest in with your gifts, talents, and energy. We can get myopic as moms and forget our children are NOT EVERYTHING that matters in life. Instead, they are doing EXACTLY what they came into the world to do, GROW UP AND LEAVE US. That means we have been very successful and can be successful still in other investments in our lives. Yes, we miss our kids but we also need to rejoice, by choice, in a job well done and look for God to lead us to the next one. If you read my book, “The Four Seasons of Fruitful Parenting”, there may be some helpful insights in the fourth season for you. Remember, the next season of your life includes grandchildren to influence for righteousness.