We have all seen people on the street or in the mall who we wish had had better training in modesty for the sake of everyone. Having raised boys, I have become very sensitive to the need for parents to protect both their boys from being defrauded as well as their girls from becoming nothing more than raw meat on the market. However, I have found a lot of mixed efforts on the part of parents in this area. Some seem to say, non-verbally, that lust is solely the fault of the girl, so they insist that their girls dress like bag ladies from the slums so guys won't lust after them. This goes against God's idea of woman when He said for the first time "It is VERY good" after making Eve in all her beauty. It also cuts out whole parts of the Bible like the Book of Esther. It was Esther's very beauty and attractive attire that gave her the opportunity to fulfill her destiny given by God. Other parents take the stance "You can look but just don't touch" when it comes to their daughters. There are also parents who ignore modesty altogether with their boys. So how can we find God's balance?
Modesty is first of all an issue of the heart before it is seen in outward appearance or actions. A girl who is looking to catch a guy's attention can do it in a Burka and a guy who is "looking" will lust after anything that is female. I have seen girls who would not have made it on a list of any kind for modeling, who were still swarmed by interested guys. The reason is that what is on the inside is more powerful for attraction than the outside appearance could ever be. We also need to be careful that we are not giving girls the message that it is either "a terrible shame to be a girl" or "all guys are perverts". Though Dad would like to leave this issue up to the mother, it really falls into his court to teach both his sons and daughters how to understand the issues of lust versus love. Women are very ignorant about how a guy thinks and need to be educated by their father. Guys need to "make a covenant with their eyes" like David finally did and be held accountable by their father who has also fought the fight for purity. But this must start early in life before the puberty hormones kick in. If a parent waits until the problem is seen, he has waited far too long and will likely not have success with his child. This is extremely tough as it really tests Dad on his own convictions and heart attitudes. A wife and daughter will instinctively try to dress just like the women who catch Dad's eye, and don't think they don't notice who that is.
There are some very practical steps to this which I will try to share in part two.