Submission is a subject that many spiritual leaders beat the drum on especially when it comes to the wife's submission to her husband. But I would like to suggest that most of these leaders haven't got the true Biblical idea about this subject.
Ephesians chapter five is usually used as the primary scripture for this teaching and the focus usually starts at verses twenty-two and twenty-three, "Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church." Then they skip the next phrase "and is himself its savior." and go on to verse twenty-four, "But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." But they totally ignore verse twenty-one just before all of this that states to all Christians male or female, "and be subject one to another in the fear of Christ." Then, of course, verses twenty-five through thirty-three are ignored where the husband is commanded to be a savior like Jesus, to give himself and his desires up for her, to wash her with the word and help her grow in holiness, love her, nourish her and cherish her as much as he does his own body, and leave his former identity and cling to her so that his new identity is wrapped up with her. Now that's the Biblical balance.
Yes, there must be structure in command in a family. A two headed animal is a freak of nature and doesn't live long. But the wife should be seen as next in command to the general. Have you ever seen the movie, "Ike" with Tom Selleck? I love the scenes where Eisenhower and his generals are trying to decide on D-Day. Each general was given total freedom and honor to express his ideas based on his gift and experience but the final decision was Ike's. When he made it the other generals scrambled to put their platoons and resources into action to make the mission successful. I think that's a beautiful example of how husbands and wives are to work out their mission of family. One of the examples in the Bible of this kind of working together is Priscilla and Aquila. Of the six times they are named in the New Testament four of those times Pricilla is named first giving her the place of honor. One of these times was Acts 18:24-26 where they took aside a great preacher named Apollos and taught him the "way of God more accurately." Why was Pricilla named first? Was she the clearer teacher or better student of the Word? Truly, they taught together as a team but she was allowed to be the leader of her SUB-MISSION with her strengths and resources.
If you are a woman looking for a husband be careful to discern whether he has a vision and mission in life that you can freely put your platoons and resources behind. And don't even listen for a minute to the flattery that he is such a better man when he's with you. That only means he's got no motivation himself and intends on always leaning on you. How can you have a Sub-Mission to his Mission when he doesn't have one? Your response should be, "You need to be that man with or without me to be worthy of my admiration."
The issue of submission is summed up in Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband." The wife has her own area of jurisdiction, revealing and putting into action her gifts and training that help her husband to reach the mission he has for the family.