• ASK NANA

PARENTING A TEENAGED SON


teenage boy
Keep the vision of the good man he will become in front of you both.

Have you ever noticed that your sweet little boy who was your best friend turns twelve or thirteen and suddenly reacts in a strong negative way to your slightest suggestion of what he should do? This is particularly true for a son's reaction to his mother. Dad can get on him strongly and he throws his shoulders back, lifts his head and acts more like a man. But let Mom even softly suggest a change in decisions or actions and World War III breaks out. Why is that?

When a boy is born he has some written beliefs in his heart which are: 1) I am immortal, invincible and all wise!! It's actually a God complex. But it will help him to stand strong for things that are right and for protection of his family and country as an adult. The second belief is: 2) "I was born to rule the woman in my life." Now it really doesn't matter whether you think that's not true. It's indelibly imprinted on his heart from birth and is what actually helps him to take on the hard task of leadership as an adult.

So as he turns into a man, when the very male hormones kick in at puberty, these laws come roaring to a head. This is why he has a hard time taking correction. Though, if Dad faces him man to man, it doesn't defame his manhood. But Mom is right now the only woman in his life and if she rules him it is a direct and dishonoring blow to his manhood and he isn't having any of it!

Therefore Moms need to change their role with their teenaged son. Turn from Guide to Cheerleader. Turn him over for all of his needed correction to Dad, or another wise man if Dad isn't around. And talk to that man in private about your concerns for your son. Then you look for every little thing that he might do or good attitude that he might show and tell him, "Wow when you do that I really admire your manhood! You are becoming a man I highly honor!" Now I know you may have to get out a magnifying glass to find something in this overgrown brat but it's there. Just keep looking then pounce on it with admiration like a cheerleader and walk away. Don't hang on it and over do it or he'll get sick of the emotional atmosphere. It's truly a dance with difficult steps but the results are worth it. Hang onto the fact that in his twenties or thirties his "Teen-mentia" will go away and he will think reasonably again and even express his gratitude for your wise parenting if you handle this time wisely. Always tell him what a wise, godly leader he is becoming. Keep that vision in his view. Remember the Angel of God called Gideon a Valiant Warrior when he was actually hiding from the enemy in cowardice. Set and keep the vision alive and cheer your boy on and he will become a victor in life.

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