The Exhausted Single Mom
Updated: Nov 12, 2019
In this era it seems that there are a lot of men who are leaving their families to follow their own goals. This leaves the mother the sole burden bearer for the family; financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I realize that this can happen vice versa leaving the father as the single parent. However, the nature of men makes them tend to be more attentive to “me time”. Women in general have a nature that gives (especially to their children) until their “giving pond” runs completely dry. Now this exhausted, empty woman finds that every little thing drives her over the edge to insanity. This state doesn’t benefit anyone, especially the kids. You need some way to restore your energy and joy for the benefit of everyone. Even a couple of hours of “Me Time” weekly can make a huge difference.
But suppose you feel you can’t afford a babysitter and you have no family who will take the kids for a bit. See if one of your single mom friends would trade you sitting time. You’ll sit for her one day of the week and she’ll sit for you one day. Now this doesn’t have to take more than 2 hours each time so her kids don’t exhaust you more and vice versa. If this doesn’t work out and if your children obey you and stay in bed when you put them there ( if not then you need my book “The Balance of Loving Discipline), then one night a week put them to bed ½ hour earlier, forget the house cleanup and laundry and do something that just refreshes you. Some ideas are 1) fix a favorite beverage and curl up in your PJ’s and read a good book. 2) Put on some soothing music and soak in a bubble bath with candlelight. 3) Call a friend or family member who is a good listener and dump your basket on them. Now you come up with what would pamper you. Being refreshed and refilling your pond, benefits you, your children and your co-workers.
If you can get a baby sitter you may want to go to a party to have some fun. This can be a good mental break for you but will unfortunately add to your already exhausted state. So I would encourage you to limit going out like that to once a month. If you go to church join a singles Sunday School or Bible Study. Usually child care is provided and it will be emotionally, mentally and spiritually uplifting.
If you are divorced and have not gone to counseling I would strongly encourage, that for one year, you attend a program like Celebrate Recovery. The leaders have all been in your situation and will share the tools to use to find joy again. Also if you don’t spend a year with guidance for healing and you do marry again you will very likely marry the same kind of man. There is something in your soul that attracts you to that kind of man. You need to be healed of that so that you are attracted to a better sort.
If you can make it to a seminar, one I highly recommend is called Arise Ministries. Their women will send you home new and refreshed and ready to go on.
However it works for you put some focus on meeting your personal needs for rest and refreshing every week. It will be good for everyone!